To be a MoM

So now onto general Mom of Multiples things.  I love my boys more than anything, and my daughter is so amazing; I am very proud of the way she helps me out around the house and with the babies.
T has been gone for a couple weeks now, and I don't mind being a 'single mom' when he's gone. As much as I do prefer when he is home of course it's not that bad; I appreciate that when he is home I am able to have a little more freedom to do other things, like grocery shopping, personal appointments etc and not have to have the extra time to do them.

People ask me all the time "how do you do it?" and that is an impossible question to answer in the time you know they would be truly interested in listening for, so I just say "you just do it". 

I have been glancing at a book recently called "What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing" by Naomi Stadlen.  and in the book it reads:   "How can anyone feel satisfied at the end of a day doing something as responsible as being a mother, without being able to explain to herself what she has done well? How can she discuss her day properly with other people if she can describe only her failures?"
This is so true, T calls at night and I always feel like I have nothing to say, because I know that even though I have been busy ALL day, the only things to really talk about are the negative things or the ones that reflect health matters or money.    Its so difficult to express yourself as a mom; T and MIL would never really understand that it's tiring to be a MOM.  Comments being made about being productive, or getting more done just hurt... because at the end of a long day I am exhausted and I can't explain to them why.

I can however explain it to you!   The day begins waking to chattering babies over the monitor, I love my new alarm clock!  So then I make 3 grueling trips up and down the stairs, carrying babies that takes almost all my energy as my body does NOT want to cooperate with me. (will explain more about that soon!) Then in between it's rushing to get formula ready, 3 different mixtures, one soy, one with rice and one just plain formula. Getting the right nipples and rings on each and not mixing them up.  Changing diapers and preparing those bottles.  Can't leave Sonny alone on the feeding area because he is such a squirmy worm I am afraid he would fall; so I get Beef and Pook changed and settled in and save sonny for last.  Ok, so we are now all settled on the bed and they are happily sucking away.  Only one of them need a lot of attention as he gets so distracted he is constantly losing the nipple from his mouth!  While they eat I fold the load of laundry I put in at bedtime and fight with Sonny to eat.   Burp: Burp: Burp: Clean up puke, and on with the show.   Time to settle in, I check my messages and brew a cup of joe; for a few minutes!

So now it's time to play!  usually 2 will sleep and one will play so this goes on for the next 3 hours, playing with one, 2 sleeping.  Oh, also during this time I wash bottles and mix up formula by the gallon, wake up vi, let the dog out and try to put a few things away or tidy up the kitchen.

Then, lo and behold ti's time to eat again!  and the routine starts all over, change diapers, wash faces, get dressed, heat up formula, get the magic mixtures just right, suck suck suck, burp burp burp, clean up puke and play.   Grab a lunch and try to spend a few minutes with Vi.   If I am lucky, someone might stop by this week for a visit.Would be nice to go for a walk, but I can't push the stroller without being in pain for 3 days afterward unless walking on a flat surface. Can't play in the yard because of red ants; so we rarely leave the house. 

Where was I?  Oh yes, this brings us to about 1pm now... sometimes this afternoon time I will bathe the boys, or try to get something organized like the cabinet, kitchen cupboards, the boys dresser etc. If they happen to all fall asleep I grab a quick shower OR I selfishly use this time to go on Facebook. (yeah I keep fb open all day and periodically pop in so it appears I am on all the time).   If they aren't sleeping, the afternoon is good for tummy time, playing on mats, in jumperoos etc.  but you have to rotate them and constantly flip the roller as he can't get back and gets mad.

Guess what... Time to eat again!   Those 3 hours between feedings just go by so fast!   Oh and I forgot to mention that I always do a load of laundry in between those feedings... so, change diapers, make bottles, feed, burp etc.   this brings us to about 4:30 adn Vi is asking whats for dinner...So boys go in their bouncy seats and get plunked in front of the TV for some baby einstein.  *please, spare me the lecture.  and off I go to the kitchen to whip up some mommy mealtime mastery in 30 min or less...  Vi and I sit down to eat have a conversation, a few giggles etc.    The boys seem to always know it's mommy down time though as it never fails that someone decides to be unhappy at that time! 

Now we have about an hour to just enjoy, so we do some floor time, playing with babies, stories, "exercises" etc.  This is very difficult for me as I try to get on the floor and play with all 3.. and I can barely move while I'm down there and it's hard to get back up!  This time is important too because I like to really play with them for about an hour before they eat for bed, so that I know they will sleep better.  Sometimes this is a fight to keep one awake. 

This brings us to about 7pm.  Guess what.  Time to start getting ready for bed!   If Tony is home, this is a great time for tandem bathing, but when I'm alone I stagger the baths through the day or do them all in the afternoon.  Anyway, off we go, one at a time to get a diaper change and pjs on.  Bottles get made, with their special PM mixutre that holds them over the night.. and away we go!  Suck suck suck, burp burp burp, clean up puke and were done.  (this take about 30 -45 minutes by the way because we're taking turns burping, and chasing bottles around)  Ahh, now it's time for the swaddling, a story and off to bed, trucking them up one at a time (or Vi helps bring them up).  Lullabies go on and voila, they are in bed.  

Now it's about 8:30-9 so I wash bottles and nipples and tidy up the kitchen. Throw in that load of laundry I will fold tomorrow morning, hang out with Vi for a bit, FB / blog / read forums and off to bed at 10.

So... Ask me what I did today and you will hear "Not much" or "the usual" and you may walk away thinking, she's got it easy, she doesn't have to go to work, or you might see my home and wonder "what did you do all day?"  now you know.

Oh, did I mention that in between all this I also let the dog in and out a hundred times, answered the phone, paid the bills, changed a pukey baby outfit, made my shopping list, got dressed, did a spreadsheet for pirate festival, returned 2 calls to vendors, sorted through my stock, read my business manual, researched products and organized my prizes (all business related), read my training manual, played 10 min of guitar(which I started doing again recently) and cleaned up the slobbery doggie puddles from the floor? 

So if you come in and there is a pile of laundry on the chair to be folded, don't wonder why I haven't folded them yet, think, wow, she's really on top of that laundry.   If the pots are on the stove from dinner, don't criticize me for not doing my dishes right away, think only , Hey, she had time to cook a home made dinner.   Because like that book said "How can anyone feel satisfied at the end of a day doing something as responsible as being a mother, without being able to explain to herself what she has done well? How can she discuss her day properly with other people if she can describe only her failures?"   Really does sum it up I guess


So... what did I do today?   "The usual"

and it was GREAT.